1. "Your original Executive Report with no corrections". "
2. "Your original Executive Report with grammatical corrections". "
3. "Questions and comments for further study and research by your group ". "
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Increasingly more young people are seeking lives that fulfill individual needs in personal activities, beliefs and thoughts. In a materialistic society and environment, possession of religion or faith can be rewarding because it provides spiritual and mental security. Organizations, religions, cults or groups help define meanings of life.

According to a survey polled by the prime minister's office, the lifestyles of young Japanese have changed over the period from 1987 to 1992. In 1992, less 20-24 year-old wished to climb the corporate ladder and be highly rated in one's career. In 1987, 24.4% wanted to become financially rich, but in five years the numbers dropped to 18.2%. On the other hand, more youths in Japan are wishing to enjoy every day and spend more time on personal hobbies. The statistics clearly state the fact that more are emphasizing the importance of a life centered around individualism, instead of sacrificing it to a career.

Although Japan is a country where old traditions still take root in our culture, nuclear families in urban areas are replacing extended families. When brought up in a society and environment based on materialistic wealth often with isolation, psychological nourishment's and development tend to be neglected. Religion or a faith seems to provide a more spiritual meaning to life. Organizations, religions, cults or groups offer mental security and kinship with peers. By identifying with similar peers, individualism is sought through acknowledgement of one another. However, it is ironical that one has to prove uniqueness by interacting with people that resemble similar thoughts and actions.

Some shared characteristics of such organizations and groups are that they provide answers to scientifically unexplainable questions, set a code of conduct to be followed and differentiate between what is right and wrong. Perhaps, from believing and participating in ritual acts, followers want to be assured by the strength and security they believe to be collecting to face disasters and fears. This strong force can be abused and taken advantage of.

Young people in general are blamed for having no values and no endurance, but the recent incident surrounding Aum Shinrikyo has proved these stereotypes to be false. The unquestioning obedience of the cult members to a maniac leader left them with a narrow-minded and self-centered prospective of society. Many were attracted because the leader had claimed to have done all the thinking for them. As seen in Aum and the Holocaust during World War 2, propaganda, or one way information and communication influences even the highly educated. Uniformity seems to outweigh the courage to speak up when things have gone too far.

It seem too often that we take for granted what we already have and expect someone else to provide more. Meanings in life are supposed to be hard to achieve and define. Conclusions should not be quickly drawn.

Grammatical corrections and comments

Suggested Correction	Short grammatical or logical explanation
Increasingly,more young people are seeking lives that fulfill individual needs in personal activities, beliefs and thoughts. In a materialistic society and environment, possession of religion or faith can be rewarding because it provides spiritual and mental security. Organizations, religions, cults or groups may help define meanings to life	You need a ",(comma)" after Increasingly. ** It is better to state that "..religions..." "may help" define meanings rather than state, concretely, that "religions..help" define meaning. This is because this statement isn't true for everyone. Some people would disagree with your statement, so you should "qualify" your statement by softening the statement with "may" or "might" .
According to a survey polled by the prime minister's office, the lifestyles of young Japanese have changed over the period from 1987 to 1992. In 1992,fewer 20-24 year-olds wished to climb the corporate ladder and be highly rated in one's career. In 1987, 24.4% wanted to become financially rich, but in five years the numbers dropped to 18.2%. On the other hand, more youths in Japan wish to enjoy every day and spend more time on personal hobbies. The statistics clearly state the fact that more young people are emphasizing the importance of a life centered around individualism, instead of sacrificing their life to a career.	** "fewer 20-24 year-olds" you should use "fewer" not "less" and "20-24 year-olds" is plural ** "wish" instead of "are wishing". You are stating a fact. ** "more are emphasizing" isn't clear..more of what? "more young people" ** "instead of "sacrificing it.." isn't clear and isn't strong. A better and clearer statement is "sacrificing their life" since that is what, I believe, you wish to state.
Although Japan is a country where old traditions still take root in our culture, nuclear families in urban areas are replacing extended families. Due to isolation when young people are brought up in a society and environment based on materialistic wealth, their psychological nourishment and development tends to be neglected. Religion or a faith seems to provide a more spiritual meaning to life. Organizations, religions, cults or groups offer mental security and kinship with peers. By identifying with similar peers, individualism is sought by acknowledging each others uniqueness.. However, it is ironic that one has to prove uniqueness by interacting with people who hold similar thoughts and actions.	"Due to isolation" is better at the beginning of the sentence because it is your main idea. You are giving "isolation" as the main problem in a materialistic society. ** "young people" needs to be stated because, otherwise, there seems to be no subject in your original sentence.."when brought up in ..", the reader is not clear "Who" is "brought up", so you should state "young people". You could use "when they are brought up"...but it is not so clear in this sentence whom "they" is identifying so that a specific "subject" such as "young people" is better. ** "by acknowledging each others uniqueness" is clearer than "acknowledgment of one another"..if I misunderstood your statement, please let me know. ** "ironic" is correct because you are using "ironic" as a noun , not "ironical" which is an adjective ** "who hold similar thoughts and actions" refers to "people", therefore, you should use "who" instead of "that" as in the original phrase "that resemble similar thoughts and actions". Additionally, "hold" or "have" is better than "resemble".
Some shared characteristics of such organizations and groups are that they provide answers to scientifically unexplainable questions, set a code of conduct to be followed and differentiate between what is right and wrong. Perhaps, from believing and participating in ritual acts, followers want to be assured by the strength and security they believe in so they can more easily face disasters and their own fears. This strong force can be abused and followers can be taken advantage of by unscrupulous individuals.	**" believe in so they can more easily face disasters and their own fears" is clearer than "believe to be collecting to face..." I think you are trying to say that while these believers are learning and trusting in the new religion or cult, they are adding new beliefs to their own believes (collecting?) and, these new beliefs are protecting them from "disasters and "their own fears". The way I changed your sentence means the same thing and is much simpler and clearer. In addition, a person can "face disasters" because they are outside of his/her control, usually. But, a person can really only face "their own fears" and not "fears" as a general statement. ( Some psychologists may state that a person's fear come from "fears" taught by their parents or culture. This may be true, but they are still individual fears, unlike a disaster, such as the Kobe earthquake which can strike anyone indiscriminately. Do you agree? It is possible for "fears" to spread throughout a society, but it is also possible for that fear to be changed...and that change happens to individuals...but it is not possible to "undo" the Kobe earthquake and other disasters. **"taken advantage of" at the end of a sentence is called a "dangling prepositional phrase". It is poor style to have a preposition (e.g. of; in; at ...etc.) at the end of a sentence because it "begs the question" (of what????). Therefore, I have added "by unscrupulous(bad and tricky) individuals"
Young people, in general are blamed for having no values and no endurance, but the recent incident surrounding Aum Shinrikyo has proved these stereotypes to be false. The unquestioning obedience of the cult members to a maniacal leader left them with a narrow-minded and self-centered perception of society. Many were attracted because the leader had claimed to have done all the thinking for them. As seen in Aum and the Holocaust during World War 2, propaganda, or one way information and communication influences even the highly educated. Uniformity seems to outweigh the courage to speak up when things have gone too far.	**You need a ", (comma)" **"a maniacal leader" or " a maniac of a leader" or "a leader who was a maniac" are ok...but not a "maniac leader". **I can have a "perception" of society(a concept or way of thinking) but I may have a "prospective (future chance) job interview" tomorrow. Salesmen are always looking for "prospects" (some in the future to sell something). The two words are very different.
It seem too often that we take for granted what we already have and expect someone else to provide more. Meanings in life are supposed to be hard to achieve and define. Conclusions should not be quickly drawn.	What do you mean by "Conclusions should not be quickly drawn"? This statement doesn't seem to have anything directly to do with what you have been talking about. However, I have the feeling you are trying to say something. I am only guessing, but are you trying to state that while many of the cults and religious organizations may take advantage of people, there may be some very good and honest reasons why people join these cults and religions and therefore, we shouldn't condemn everyone? Please, either send me an e-mail discussing this point or see me in class...but, e-mail, of course, is to be preferred, since we can continue the discussion. I am waiting.

The following questions and comments should help you to continue and complete your report. If you wish to discuss any of these questions with the instructor, please contact him by e-mail. In addition to the questions listed here, you can, of course, think of your questions to complete you work.

If you use an article from a magazine, newspaper or online (Internet) source, you need to identify where that source came from. We will talk more about "sources of information" in class meetings.

What is the difference between a "religion" and a "cult"? Are there definable differences that everyone agrees upon? "Personal belief" is a very subjective and difficult area to deal with. Historically, there have been more lives lost in war due to "religion" and/or "cults" than due to any other reason. On the other, there have been glories that have only developed because of religious belief: "eg. the music of Bach, Handel, Vivaldi; much of the art of Europe and the glories of Vedic India etc." How do you decide what is a valid religion or cult and what is a dangerous one?

What kind of "individualism" are young people trying to adopt? Be more specific! Are all young people becoming "chess fanatics" or "computer game fanatics"? Or is individualism something simpler such as not becoming a member of a corporation but just doing part-time work? What does "individualism" mean? Does it mean "doing my thing only and not worrying about anyone else?" as many pop and rock songs seem to be saying? Or is it something else?

The Aum Shinrikyo incident is particularly alarming and very interesting because many of the followers seemed to have had a higher education. What seem to have been the reasons that these young people followed their leader so blindly? Do they continue to follow him? There was a similar case in the United States about 15-20 years ago named the Manson case where a small cult committed murder under the maniacal direction of one man: namely Charles Manson...who, himself, like Hitler, committed no direct crimes; although it is perfectly clear that without Manson (or Hitler) no crimes would have occurred. I'm sure you can find information on Charles Manson and his cult on the Internet. The twentieth century, throughout the world, and, often, in so-called highly civilized states, such as the United States, Germany and Japan seem be "fertile ground" for cults and new religions that try and provide "total answers" to everything. Why do you think such organizations can exist and actually grow???

You state that "one-way propaganda" led people to follow cults such as Aum Shinrikyo and Hitler. It is not so simple as that! Prior to becoming a member of either of these (or other) organizations, people had choices to join or not to join. The Aum Shinrikyo never ruled Japan...so potential members could, it would seem, easily decide to either leave or not join. With Hitler, his party was in existence from 1923 through 1933 and many Germans chose not to join. Propaganda was effective in "building Nazism" but it was most effective once the Nazis had complete power and there were not alternatives. But, with Aum Shinrikyo, in Japan, there were many alternatives. So the question is why was the "leader's will" so powerful and what "positive" things about Aum Shinrikyo kept the members content to be part of the organization?

Is there a "definable type" of personality who seems to be a good candidate for "cults"? Or, on the other hand, could we all, under the right circumstances, be drawn to organizations such as Aum Shinrikyo. Is "scientific knowledge" enough? Or, do human beings have a need to believe in something outside and bigger than themselves? Christians would probably ask: "How do you know if you are following God or if you are following the Devil? Is there some kind of test? Or, should we not believe in anything?

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