We have studied about minorities-problem in Japan. And we want make a report based on the general opinion of Japanese people. If possible, we want to report to Japanese or non-Japanese about it.

We shared 5parts with Topic 7. And we are doing one's share, then we'll gathere one's report and want to make our one report. The following are exective overview of 5parts of Topic 7.

I have researched whether non-Japanese are welcomed at place of entertainment. But I can't reserch anyyhing on Netscape. So I'm gathering many information at a library. And then I understood that there is a number of entertainment place in Roppngi, Shibuya,.....etc of Japanese city and there are many that place which running by non-Japanese. But yet, I don't take a information about customer of non-Japanese.

So research I want to do is What Japanese who are major in Japan think about living with non-Japanese people. If I have a chance, I want to reprort non-Japanese people about it.
95-012-253 Keitaro Yaguchi

Japanese managers want to employ Japanese rather than foreigner. They may think that differences between Japanese and foreigner in languages,cultures,customs and so on. But one of the most serious reason is perhaps racial consciousness that Japanese have on unconsciousness.

They are hired where Japanese refused to work because of "low-paying" or "hard work" But it is valued "high-paying" or they can`t be hired in their own country,they work in Japan even if they are "illegal" and Japanese managers hire if they know that.Because "Illegal workers" are very cheap. So,many Japanese businessmen have been accused of "exploiting" them.

There are many ethical problems and legal protection. But they doesn`t function protically in some places.

Explanation on how developed

This statement expands question "3". And libraries helped the reserch.

95-032-096 Reiko Miki

The number of forigners living in Japan is increasing year by year.And the number of forign students studying in Japan is on the increase.With the progress of internationalization, crimes committed by forigners in Japan have risen sharply, and they have become violent. International crime has therefore become a serious probblem. I will find out on statistics by Internet and library. Why violent crime? I will investigate the background of that. If possible, I want to write the graph...and so on.

95-012-013 Reiko Iiduka

I'm in charge of NO.5 in topic 7. I thought it was a very difficult problem for me but I'll make efforts. I'm going to research the news paper written about minorities, and ask my family and friends how they think of this problem. I have only a few imformations about this, so I think I need to read a lot of documents. If it's possible, I'll ask to someone who is in a government. I really want to know where I must go and ask.

96-012-212 Tomiko Horiuchi

Grammatical corrections and comments

Suggested Correction	Short grammatical or logical explanation
We have studied about the minority-problem in Japan. We want to make a report based on the general opinion of the Japanese people. If possible, we would like want to report our results to the Japanese or non-Japanese.	** "minority-problem" is singular. Therefore, you need the definite article: "the"...even though there are a lot of problems related to minorities (different minorities etc.)...the entire issue is a single singular issue: "the minority problem" (e.g. the tax problem; the "bullying (ijime) problem". ** Don't start a sentence with and "And we".."We" is better. "to make" not "make"..(e.g. "want to go" and not "want go" .."want to live" and not "want live" ** "the" Japanese people. While people means many individuals, the word people is a group word and is thought of as singular in English. Therefore, you require "the"...(e.g. "the American people"; "the Chinese people" or "the Chinese" of "the Japanese"...You do not need "people"..but it is ok. ** "would like" is better than "want"...more subjective.. ** In your original sentence you said "we want report to Japanese ... about it". It is not clear what you wish to report...so I have added "the results" meaning the results or your research. **"We shared 5 parts with Topic 7.....one report". This sentence has been taken out of your report. This is a team report, not an individual report. The reader does not need to know this information. You need to just write the report. Also, "The following are executive overview of 5 parts of Topic 7." does not need to be in your report. Everything you write is the executive overview. Not necessary to say this. What is important is that you write the executive report...not tell the reader you are going to do it.
We have researched whether non-Japanese are welcomed at places of entertainment.. We are researching information at a library. We understood that there are a number of entertainment places in Roppongi, Shibuya and in other Japanese cities and there are ,also, many places which are run by non-Japanese. We haven't yet taken information about non-Japanese as customers in Japanese shops . . We want to research what the Japanese who are in the majority in Japan think about living with non-Japanese people.	"We" because a team report... not an individual report. **"places of entertainment" should be plural..more than one place of entertainment, aren't there? ** "But I can't reserch anyyhing on Netscape" has been taken out of your report. This does not belong in the report. If you have a problem with researching anything (not reserch anyyhing) you should send the instructor an e-mail. **"researching" is better than "gathering". **"We" and not not "I"..do not start sentences with "and" **"are" because "places" is plural. **"and in other Japanese cities" completes the sentences. **"also" should be used since this is a new idea in your sentence (but this idea is connected to the idea stated in the first part of your sentence. **"are run" and not "running" ** "We" not "I"..and **Your sentence wasn't clear. Are you saying that you haven't yet researched information about non-Japanese as customers in Japanese shops or are you saying that you haven't yet researched information about Japanese as customers in non-Japanese shops? I have changed your report to read "non-Japanese as customers in Japanese shops". If this is not your meaning, please send me an e-mail. ** "We want to research what the" is a very simple statement. Try and use simple "declarative" English phrases. "Declarative" means clearly stating what you want to say in simple sentences. In addition, "the" is required for "Japanese" ** "in the majority" not "major" is the correct expression. (e.g. For many years the Japanese LDP had the majority of seats .." ** "If I have a chance, I want to report non-Japanese people about it." This sentence should be taken out of your report because it was stated at the top of the team report..so it is just repetitious". ** Your name does not belong in the report!! 95-012-253 Keitaro Yaguchi
Japanese managers want to employ Japanese rather than foreigners. They may think that the differences between Japanese and foreigners in language, culture, and customs and so on will create problems. But one of the most serious reasons is perhaps racial consciousness that the Japanese unconsciously have. They are hired where Japanese refused to work because of low-pay or hard work. Foreigners value this work as "high-paying" or because they can`t be hired in their own country. They work in Japan even if they are "illegal" and Japanese managers hire them, because "Illegal workers" are very cheap. Many Japanese businessmen have been accused of "exploiting" them. There are many ethical problems and questions about legal protection. The ethical questions and legal protection of foreigners aren't actually enforced in Japan?	"foreigners" should be plural. ** "the differences" needs the definite article "the" because you are stating that "differences" is a definite thing. (Some English-speaking people may disagree...but it better to use "the") ** "language, culture" should be singular..custom is ok as "customs"... ** "They may think that.." has no verb..thing what???..so I added "will create problems". If you do not like this, you can change it...but, the point is that you need a definite "verb" in the sentence". ** "unconsciously" have is better than "have unconsciously". ** "low-pay" not "low-paying"..."low-pay" is used as a noun. "low-paying jobs" is ok...but then, "low-paying" is used as an adjective. ** "But is valued" changed to "Foreigners value..." to make it very clear that it is "foreigners" who value this work. ** "because" is needed to show the reason...and the sentences "country...they" becomes two sentences since the ideas are different. ** "them, because", on the other hand, takes two sentences and makes one sentence. This is because the two sentences are closely related in meaning. ** Don't use "So" or "And" or "But" in the beginning of a sentence...these words weaken the report when used in the beginning of a sentence. ** "questions about" legal protection. "ethical problems" is clear but "legal protection" doesn't mean anything by itself...you need "questions about" ** " But they doesn`t function protically in some places." isn't clear. Do you mean "The ethical questions and legal protection of foreigners aren't actually enforced in Japan? Please send me an e-mail concerning this question. I replaced your last sentence with this sentence. If this isn't what you want, you can change later. ** "Explanation on how developed This statement expands question "3". And libraries helped the research. 95-032-096 Reiko Miki" are needed in your report. If you wish to identify a particular source, you can use a footnote or quote somewhat indirectly as the following shows; "Paul Allen in his book "Minorities in the World" stated that..."
The number of foreigners living in Japan is increasing year by year. Additionally, the number of foreign students studying in Japan is on the increase. With the progress of internationalization, crimes committed by foreigners in Japan have risen sharply, and some of them have become violent. International crime has therefore become a serious problem.	Use MS-WORD "spell check" feature to correct misspellings such as "foreigners" "problem".. ** "Additionally" is better than "And" at the beginning of a sentence..avoid using "and", "but", "however" to start sentences, if possible. **Have all crimes by foreigners become violent? You should soften your report "some of them" until you can show some definite statistics. ** "I will find out on statistics by Internet and library. Why violent crime? I will investigate the background of that. If possible, I want to write the graph...and so on. ".."95-012-013 Reiko Iiduka"..these sentences and your name do not belong in the report. The reader is not interested in how you are going to make your report. The reader is only interested in the "findings" of your report. Also, your name should not be in a "team-report". Either at the beginning or end of the report, you can sign your names together.
There are approximately 1,000,000 foreigners living in Japan. Most of them come from East Asia. According to the latest government report, the number of illegal foreigners is estimated at more than 200,000......	" I'm in charge of NO.5 in topic 7. I thought it was a very difficult problem for me but I'll make efforts. I'm going to research the news paper written about minorities, and ask my family and friends how they think of this problem. I have only a few imformations aboutthis, so I think I need to read a lot of documents. If it's possible, I'll ask to someone who is in a government. I really want to know where I must go and ask." What you wrote in your report are questions that you should have asked the instructor by e-mail (for help) or the other members of your team. These questions and concerns do not belong in your report. If you are doing question #7, you should write your main ideas about question #7 in the executive report. You haven't done that. If you've questions about this, please send me an e-mail. And your name doesn't belong in the report. **Your question (No. 5) is as follows: "What is the estimated number of "illegal minorities" in Japan and what is the governments policy towards these illegal minorities. The illegal minorities would work for extremely low wages at "dirty jobs" so this is a benefit to many smaller Japanese companies...but they are still illegal. What is their position? The government is in a "strange position". The government is sympathetic to the "small businessmen" but also, by law, must deport the "illegal minority worker". Is the government actively looking for illegal workers or does the government avoid doing this ("turn a blind eye")." I believe this question, itself, should help you think about the minority problem. You should have stated "how many minorities are in Japan and shown where these minorities come from"...Are all minorities " illegal"? Please work harder. And, if you have questions, you should contact the instructor by e-mail. You have no excuse for not contacting the instructor!!! I have started your report ">There are approximately 1,000,000 foreigners living in Japan. Most of them come from East Asia. According to the latest government report, the number of illegal foreigners is estimated at more than 200,000......" What I wrote is only a guess and just shows you the style... please continue...if you have trouble, talk to the other members of your team..That is why you have a team..to help each other.

The following questions and comments should help you to continue and complete your report. If you wish to discuss any of these questions with the instructor, please contact him by e-mail. In addition to the questions listed here, you can, of course, think of your questions to complete you work.

If you use an article from a magazine, newspaper or online (Internet) source, you need to identify where that source came from. We will talk more about "sources of information" in class meetings.

The topic of your report is "minorities"; however, you have not defined who these minorities are. You need to provide statistical data on who the minorities are in Japan (by country, by age and by sex). This data is for "legal minorities". "Illegal minorities" can only be estimated. After you have defined your "minorities", you need to see if each different minority is treated differently by the Japanese people, by Japanese companies and by the Japanese government. For example, are Iranians treated differently than Americans?

The position of "long-time Korean residents" in Japan has been a subject for discussion for many years. There are some Koreans who have been in Japan; speak fluent Japanese and yet are not recognized as Japanese citizens. Is this an easy question to discuss? Are the Japanese prejudiced towards Koreans? Or are the Koreans, themselves, part of the problem? Do you have Korean friends who have lived in Japan a long time. See if they are willing to discuss this problem. And see if their parents are also willing to discuss this problem. Because different generations may have different attitudes.

You state that violent crime has increased among foreigners. That is too general a statement! You need some proof. Are all foreigners violent? What kinds of crimes are actually, statistically, recorded by the Japanese government related to foreigners? As a percentage of the population, are foreigners "over-represented"... in other words, if there are 100,000,000 Japanese nationals and .05% are involved in violent crime, is the same true of foreigners? Is the percentage greater or less? Do foreigners (again, identified by country, sex, and age) commit different kinds of crimes than the Japanese?

You ask if foreigners are welcomed at Japanese "places of entertainment". How do you plan to find out. If you ask someone, they will say "sure, we welcome everybody". However, if you work together with a foreigner and try and enter "places of entertainment", you will learn much quicker. For example, if your group has a foreign student from Gakushuin work with you (perhaps one of the Australians) and has him try and enter several different types of "places of entertainment" or try and find an apartment from a "fudosan", you will learn "firsthand" just how "welcomed" foreigners are.

What kinds of organizations exist in Japan to help "minorities" who are living and working in Japan. See if you can contact one or more of these agencies and then, interview someone in a position of authority at one of these agencies. They should be able to help you.

When the Japanese state they have problems with "minorities", what do they mean? e.g. don't speak the language. But, what about minorities who do speak the language. Can a minority easily become a Japanese citizen?

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